“There Is No Honour Amongst the Thieves” : How Narcissists Betray Each Other



When ego meets ego, loyalty is the first casualty.

In the complex world of human relationships, narcissists often stand out—not for their charm, power, or success (though they may possess all three), but for their insatiable need for validation, control, and superiority. While they can manipulate and exploit others with ruthless precision, what happens when two narcissists collide? The answer lies in the ancient proverb: “There is no honour amongst thieves.” When both parties are driven by self-interest, devoid of genuine empathy, and armed with grandiose delusions, betrayal isn’t just likely—it’s inevitable.

1. A Relationship Built on Self-Interest, Not Connection

Narcissists approach relationships not as emotional partnerships, but as opportunities. They seek others who can enhance their image, boost their status, or serve as sources of narcissistic supply (attention, admiration, control).

  • What happens when both are takers? The relationship becomes a zero-sum game. Each seeks to gain, but neither wants to give.
  • Inevitable outcome: The relationship eventually crumbles under the weight of unmet expectations and selfish motives.

“Mutual exploitation may look like bonding at first—but it’s only a matter of time before someone feels shortchanged.”

2. Status Wars and the Erosion of Admiration

Initially, narcissists may idealize each other—especially if they see the other as equally powerful, glamorous, or successful. But narcissists are notoriously envious, especially of those who reflect their own insecurities.

  • Trigger: When one narcissist receives more attention or success than the other.
  • Response: Jealousy turns admiration into resentment, triggering sabotage, gossip, or power plays.

“In the world of narcissists, admiration is conditional and short-lived. As soon as the balance of status shifts, so does the allegiance.”

3. Empathy Deficit: Betrayal Without Remorse

One defining trait of narcissism is a profound lack of empathy. Narcissists often see others as tools or threats—not as whole, feeling human beings. This lack of emotional attunement makes betrayal easy—and guilt, non-existent.

  • No remorse: If betrayal furthers their goals or protects their image, it’s not only acceptable—it’s necessary.
  • Justification: The betrayed party is seen as weak, deserving, or simply irrelevant.

“Loyalty among narcissists exists only until it conflicts with self-interest. Once it does, betrayal is swift and surgical.”

4. The Idealize–Devalue–Discard Cycle Goes Both Ways

Narcissists often follow a psychological cycle in relationships:

  • Idealize the other person as perfect, admirable, useful.
  • Devalue them when they fail to meet inflated expectations.
  • Discard them once they are seen as useless or threatening.

When both partners are narcissists, this cycle becomes volatile and accelerated.

  • Double discard: Each sees the other as disappointing, defective, or dangerous.
  • Fallout: The end is often explosive—character assassinations, smear campaigns, or cold, calculated cut-offs.

“To a narcissist, even another narcissist becomes disposable the moment they stop feeding the fantasy.”

5. No Supply, No Loyalty

Narcissists aren’t loyal to people—they’re loyal to what people can do for them. As long as the relationship provides status, praise, or control, it may endure. But once the supply dries up—or a better source appears—they move on without hesitation.

  • Example: A narcissistic friend or partner suddenly ghosts or betrays you when someone more powerful or influential enters their orbit.
  • Interpretation: This isn’t a moral failing in their eyes; it’s just strategy.

“Narcissistic loyalty is conditional: You’re only as valuable as the supply you provide.”

6. Projection and Paranoia: Trust Implodes from Within

Narcissists often assume others are just as manipulative as they are. When in close relationships with each other, this projection creates toxic paranoia.

  • What it looks like: Constant accusations, backstabbing, secret-keeping.
  • Self-fulfilling prophecy: Each believes betrayal is inevitable—and so they betray first to avoid being the victim.

“In a room full of narcissists, everyone assumes everyone else is holding a knife.”

Conclusion: Why Narcissists Turn on Each Other

While narcissists may initially be drawn to one another—mirroring shared traits of confidence, charisma, and ambition—their relationships rarely endure. The same qualities that attract them also destroy them: unchecked ego, lack of empathy, deep insecurity, and a ruthless pursuit of self-interest.

In the end, when two people view others as disposable, manipulative, or inferior, true alliance is impossible. There’s no honour—not because they’re inherently evil—but because the very foundation of their identity prohibits vulnerability, trust, and mutual respect.

There is no honour amongst thieves—because in the narcissistic mind, honour is weakness, and everyone is a rival.


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