How Flying Monkeys and Ignorant Enablers Get Sucked Into Doing a Narcissist’s Dirty Work

When you’ve dealt with a narcissist, one of the most shocking things isn’t just their manipulation—it’s how many seemingly reasonable people get roped into doing their bidding. These people, often referred to as “flying monkeys” or ignorant enablers, end up reinforcing the narcissist’s abuse, sometimes with brutal loyalty and zero awareness of the harm they’re causing.

So, why do these people fall for it? Why don’t they ask questions, consider the other side of the story, or even stop to wonder what the narcissist stands to gain from it all?

Let’s break down exactly how narcissists pull this off—and why flying monkeys are so easy to recruit.

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1. The Narcissist Knows How to Play the Victim

The first step in the manipulation game is image control. Narcissists are masterful at crafting a story where they come off as the victim—wronged, misunderstood, or even "heroically" trying to do the right thing.

They:

Cherry-pick details and twist facts

Frame themselves as having been attacked or betrayed

Spin emotionally compelling sob stories

Subtly (or overtly) portray the other person as unstable, toxic, or cruel

To the uninformed ear, this sounds authentic—especially when delivered with emotional flair. Many enablers and flying monkeys never stop to consider that they’re only hearing one side of the story, and a heavily filtered one at that.

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2. Flying Monkeys Rarely Question the Narcissist’s Motives

This is a key element in the dynamic: people fail to ask, “What’s in it for them?” Why is this narcissist so invested in destroying this person? Why now? What do they gain?

Narcissists count on the fact that people:

Won’t dig deeper

Will assume they’re “just venting”

Are more focused on seeming supportive than understanding the truth

In reality, the narcissist often has clear motives, such as:

Protecting their image from someone who knows the truth

Gaining sympathy to distract from their own wrongdoing

Sabotaging a person who won’t comply with them

Securing social, financial, or legal advantages

Flying monkeys and enablers either don’t see this, don’t care, or feel too emotionally pulled in to challenge it.

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3. Narcissists Exploit Empathy and Weak Boundaries

Narcissists know exactly who to target: people who are empathetic, insecure, uninformed, or overly loyal. They leverage this by:

Triggering guilt (“I don’t know what I did wrong, but they just left me”)

Appealing to pity (“They’re trying to ruin my life—I don’t know why”)

Playing helpless or misunderstood

These emotional tactics disarm the natural instinct to question things critically. The more the narcissist cries or acts fragile, the less likely the flying monkey is to think:

> “Wait... What did you do to contribute to this?”

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4. Flying Monkeys Don’t Cross-Check the Story

A critical piece of the puzzle is how often flying monkeys fail to investigate further.

They:

Never speak directly to the person being smeared

Accept secondhand stories as gospel truth

Assume silence from the other party is guilt (when it’s often trauma, dignity, or exhaustion)

Even worse, some actively avoid hearing the other side. Why? Because:

It might make them complicit

It would challenge their worldview

They’d have to take a moral stand, and many don’t want that discomfort

Ignorant enablers convince themselves they’re “just staying out of it,” but in reality, they’re often passively condoning abuse.

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5. Narcissists Often Gain Social and Financial Rewards—Unnoticed

Flying monkeys rarely see the real benefits the narcissist gains through manipulation. These might include:

Keeping social status or saving face

Gaining allies against someone who knows too much

Winning money, property, or favorable custody agreements

Maintaining control over shared friend groups or networks

The smear campaigns, sob stories, and victim-playing often lead to sympathy, favors, financial help, or legal wins—but the enablers don’t recognize they’re just pawns in a much bigger game.

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6. Personal Gain or Fear Keeps Flying Monkeys in Line

Not all flying monkeys are innocent. Some are:

Getting something in return (favoritism, protection, social clout)

Afraid of becoming the next target

Addicted to the drama and chaos narcissists stir up

They may enjoy the illusion of being “important” or “trusted,” while in reality, they’re just being used.

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7. Narcissists Make It Risky to Ask Questions

Social penalties are real in these dynamics. If you question the narcissist:

You may be labeled as disloyal or “taking sides”

You might get ostracized or attacked yourself

You could lose your place in a friend group or family hierarchy

So many enablers stay quiet or go along with the abuse simply because it’s easier. It’s safer. They tell themselves:

> “I don’t want to get involved,”

“It’s none of my business,”

“I’m sure they had their reasons.”

But in doing so, they’re supporting manipulation and harm.

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Enablers and Flying Monkeys Are often ignorant 

Most flying monkeys and ignorant enablers aren’t consciously malicious. But their lack of awareness, refusal to question motives, and failure to see the narcissist’s manipulative gains makes them key players in abuse cycles.

They allow narcissists to:

Isolate their victims

Rewrite reality

Escape accountability

Profit socially or financially

And the worst part? Many will never admit they were used !